 ane and Lynch isn’t the kind of game you actually need to play to know how awesome it is. You play as Kane Lynch and his friend, who is, I believe, unnamed, and you go about doing really awesome things for the entire length of the game, such as shooting at people and reloading awesome guns with wicked sick animations. This game is incredible.
Kane and Lynch, which has heavily influenced other games such as Army of Two, Grand Theft Auto and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, has deservedly garnered critical acclaim from many respected publications already, but after discussions with Eidos (which we had earlier this month) we agree that we must heap more critical acclaim on the game so that everyone may profit... as in, by buying the game. Profit through the joy it will bring them. That’s what I meant.
The graphics realistically portray what people actually look like. Unlike most videogame characters in so called modern blockbusters, the characters here have features such as eyes, arms and even hair. The developer has achieved this through a unique new technique called ‘pixels’, whereby 3-D geometric objects are created using 2-D shapes. Expect to see this technique blatantly stolen by every game released from this point onwards, and even retroactively stolen by a few games already out. This is the nature of every games company other than IO and Eidos, especially EA Games.
Kane and Lynch also uses music and sound effects, which is
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an amazing achievement. Sometimes characters will use swear words, such as ‘fuck’ and ‘damn it’, an incredible innovation that shows games are no longer just for little baby girls, crying into their stained, spoiled nappies. Only a little wimpy baby could ever object to such an awesome and totally contextual use
of language.
The aim of Kane and Lynch is to shoot down terrorists in a variety of environments and liberate freedom for everyone, maybe. Obviously the only people who will not enjoy this game are terrorist sympathisers, or more likely they are terrorists themselves. To any terrorists out there reading, I urge you, play this game, it will totally change your perspective on shit. When you shoot people enough they will die, but
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likewise if you are shot a lot you will die. This sense of Zen-like balance is unparalleled in modern gaming and only an absolute fool, an idiot with no prospects in life who doesn’t even deserve to be loved by anyone, who will never know happiness and will die, cold and alone, old and confused, their twisted limbs wrapped around their aching, homeless body as they struggle desperately to cling on to that last drop of human warmth before they are seized by the horrifying grip of the spectre of Death, would miss it.
Kane and Lynch is a game I certainly would endorse even if I wasn’t being paid for it. Which is to say I’m not, but I am. Endorsing it, that is. To the second thing. It’s the thing I am doing. Not getting paid. Buy it right now!
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